Recently, I met with an incredibly accomplished, very senior software executive who has a track record you’d die for. She’s held CRO and CEO gigs in ground-breaking and/or mammoth-sized companies. We were talking about her next gig.
She mentioned that she spoke with a friendly venture capitalist (VC). He wanted to put her name forward as a possible CEO candidate for one of his portfolio companies. And this super bright, confident, amazing woman said something to the effect of yes, maybe I’m the right person but maybe not – happy to chat.
Is that so bad? Yes. Because I’ve heard men answer that question. They say yes, I’d be great at that but need to know more about your company – happy to chat.
Be a Self-Believer, and Promote
Do you see the difference? One puts you as someone who has self-doubts and the other puts you as someone who believes in themself. Guess which is a better position for engaging with a VC or other c-level exec? The latter.
We women sometimes deflect our capabilities and confidence because we’ve been taught to be modest. Often to our detriment. That’s less true for our brothers.
The Chick vs Dude 80/20 Rule
It reminds me of something I’ve observed about friends when they apply for jobs. Let’s say there are 8 required skills in a job description. Many women look at the list of 8 skills. They say to themselves, I can do 6 but not 2 so I’m not qualified and won’t apply. On the other hand, our brothers are taught to think differently. They think, I can do 6 and I can learn or wing it for the other 2 so I should definitely apply. Guess who gets the job? The man who applied.
Modesty can be a wonderful quality. It enables us to be open to learning and new experiences. It also helps those around us to be vulnerable and to collaborate better. It helps us be better leaders. But you don’t have to use modesty all the time. Let me repeat that. You don’t have to use modesty all the time. Sometimes you gotta believe in yourself more than you actually believe in yourself. You can wing it. You can learn fast. I’d even bet you know more than you think. And, probably more than most other people in the room.
You Can Be Authentic and Self Promote
I’m not saying be a fake, a poser, or an ego-maniac. Not at all. I’m saying give yourself some credit. Own your brilliance. And give your modesty an occasional rest. There are benefits to believing in yourself more than you believe in yourself.
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Love this. Believe in yourself – who else will unless you do it first?
Amen, Cathy! Great point.